11 Of The Best Linda Belcher Quotes from Bob's Burgers
If you had to pick who the absolute best mother in the world was, you’d probably say your own mom or yourself. But that’s only because Linda Belcher from “Bob’s Burgers” isn’t actually a real person.
Let’s all admit it, Linda Belcher is 100% mom goals. She loves her kids, loves her husband, loves her wine, and loves bursting out into songs for no reason whatsoever.
But she’s also incredibly wise. Don’t believe me, here are some of the absolute best Linda Belcher quotes from “Bob’s Burgers” to prove to you that this woman knows a thing or two about life.
Season 4, Episode 1: “A River Runs Through Bob”
“Wine helps me drink.”
Honestly, how can we argue with that?
Season 1, Episode 10: “Burger Wars”
“When I die, I want you to cremate me and throw me in Tom Selleck’s face.”
This sure beats a funeral if you ask me.
Season 4, Episode 22: “World Wharf II: The Wharfening (or How Bob Saves/Destroys the Town - Part II)”
“You kids area two-adult, two-bottle-of-wine-a-night job.”
Said every single parent ever.
Season 3, Episode 14: “Lindapendent Woman”
“No boys, no parties, no summoning spirits.”
Ah yes, the top three rules for any child.
Season 4, Episode 3: “Seaplane!”
“I was gonna punch you but I’m holding my wine.”
Priorities, am I right?
Season 3, Episode 10: “Mother Daughter Laser Razor”
“Only strippers shave above the knee.”
The ultimate advice a mother can give her teenage daughter.
Season 7, Episode 7: “The Last Gingerbread House on the Left”
“Aw, maybe we should just pack it in. Go home and drink the kind of hot cocoa that’s wine.”
Um, hit us up with that recipe, LB!
Season 3, Episode 21: “Boyz 4 Now”
“Oooh, mini croissants! No matter what I say, stop me when I’ve had sixteen.”
Honestly, this sounds like the only appropriate amount of mini croissants.
Season 2, Episode 8: “Bad Tina”
“Mommy doesn’t get drunk. She just has fun.”
Same, same, same.
Season 2, Episode 8: “Bad Tina”
“Don’t you tell me not to have a crap attack! I’ll have a crap attack any time I want!”
Says me to my therapist in every therapy session ever.
Season 3, Episode 5: “An Indecent Thanksgiving Proposal”
“I’ve only had half of four bottles of wine.”
I was never any good at math, so this seems totally reasonable to me.
