12 Quotes From the Best Bob’s Burgers Christmas Episodes

The holiday season isn’t complete without a Bob’s Burgers Christmas episode. In fact, our Christmas morning tradition is to wake up, brew some holiday roast, and watch Bob’s Burgers perfectly crafted The Plight Before Christmas.

And while that episode always has us in tears, it—along with all the other Bob’s Burgers Christmas episodes—is packed to the gills with hilarious quotes and one-liners.

It’s truly too hard to pick a favorite, so we’ve rounded up a bunch! Here are the funniest quotes from the best Bob’s Burgers Christmas episodes. Enjoy.

Season 5, Episode 6: “Father of the Bob” “Dear Lord Santa, this year please bless me with a calendar of Australian firefighters holding puppies in casual settings.”

Tina Belcher knows how to prioritize prayers.

Season 11, Episode 10: “Yachty or Nice” “Did you forget to take off your beard when your barfed?”

And yes, Teddy. We can smell it.

Season 3, Episode 9: “Bob Rest Ye Merry Gentle-Mannequins” “I want a dry erase board so I can write down all my private thoughts and then erase them immediately.”

Wait—why didn’t I think of this?

Season 3, Episode 9 “Bob Rest Ye Merry Gentle-Mannequins” “Do it, Mom! Do the stompy dance!”

And just like that, an iconic Linda Belcher moment was born.

Season 5, Episode 6: “Father of the Bob” “Wait, Christmas Magic is wine?”

Wait. Is it? It is, right?

Season 7, Episode 7: “The Last Gingerbread House on the Left” “Aw, maybe we should just pack it in. Go home and drink the kind of hot cocoa that’s wine.”

It wouldn’t be a Bob’s Burgers list if Linda didn’t have two wine quotes.

Season 4, Episode 8: “Christmas in the Car” Linda: “Aw, everyone look at the tree. I love this tree.” Bob: “It’s the day after Halloween, Lin.”

So what, Bob?

Season 3, Episode 9: “Bob Rest Ye Merry Gentle-Mannequins” “Don’t bother bringing the mistletoe to bed! But do bring me a snack. Chocolate!”

And crackers. And wine.

Season 5, Episode 6: “Father of the Bob” “I got a tool to remove security tags! Next Christmas is on me!”

In that case, we’ll send you our list Louise.

Season 5, Episode 6: “Father of the Bob” “Hey, everybody! I’m covered in bean juice.”

Now try and catch him!

Season 7, Episode 7: “The Last Gingerbread House on the Left” “I changed my mind about having kids. I’m gonna have one and feed it to this bear ‘cause I love him so much!”

When do we get our turn?

Season 4, Episode 8: “Christmas in the Car” “That’s how I want to go out. Dehydrated and covered in tinsel.”

Same, Gene. Same.