10 Quotes From The Best Bob Burgers Thanksgiving Episodes

Let’s be clear about one thing: no other TV show does Thanksgiving episodes like Bob’s Burgers. Bob Belcher’s obsession with Thanksgiving (in particular his beloved turkey), is a neuroticism I look forward to every year. Each Bob’s Burgers Thanksgiving episode feels like a gift from the Bob’s Burgers writers since they’re so well written. It’s not surprising that some of the most iconic moments and lines come from these Turkey Day odes. Whether it’s a classic Linda Thanksgiving song or a turkey quip from Bob, these episodes fill our house with warmth and a ton of laughter.

Without further ado, here are our favorite quotes from Bob’s Burgers Thanksgiving Episodes.

Season 4, Episode 5 “Turkey in a Can” “I’m straight. I mean, I’m mostly straight. And I’m married. But if I wasn’t… who am I kidding, you’re out of my league.”

We’ll date you Bob! We love this scene, the scene that made Bob Belcher an official bisexual icon.

Season 5, Episode 4 “Dawn of the Peck” “Hey, daytime whiskey. Wanna meet my CD collection?”

Daytime whiskey, Bob Belcher, and Donna Summer might be my favorite threesome ever.

Season 10, Episode 8 “Now We’re Not Cooking With Gas” “Calm down. You’re getting your giblets in a twist.”

Linda’s zingers definitely get our giblets in a twist. Just saying.

Season 5, Episode 4 “Dawn of the Peck” “But I’m a vegan…”

Quite possibly the most underrated Bob’s Burgers quote of all time.

Season 9, Episode 7 “I Bob Your Pardon” “I know you ate that sugary canned cranberry slop at your grandmother’s that one year because she doesn’t care about anything.”

Bob’s defensiveness over fresh cranberry sauce is the petty I aspire to.

Season 8, Episode 5: “Thanks-hoarding” "That’s why God invented gravy. Or as call it, turkey lube.”

Somebody needs to trademark Turkey Lube asap.

Season 6, Episode 4 “Gayle Makin’ Bob Sled” “It’s Thanksgiving! Thanksgiving for everybody! Except for Europeans.”

A quote or the most beautiful Linda Belcher song ever written? You decide.

Season 3, Episode 5 “An Indecent Thanksgiving Proposal” “That turkey is our mom now.”

Yes, Bob screaming, “You are the one!” has our hearts, but this line Gene tacks onto the end of the scene made us laugh out loud.

Season 9, Episode 7 “I Bob Your Pardon” “It’s so fresh!”

Any Bob Belcher win makes our day. But this one? Iconic.

Season 7, Episode 6 “The Quirk-Ducers” “I feel like my soul has diarrhea.”

Is it bad that I feel like this everyday?

Season 5, Episode 4 “Dawn of the Peck” “(Gasp) I’m the alpha turkey.”

The alpha turkey of our hearts, Linda.

Season 6, Episode 4 “Gayle Makin’ Bob Sled” “It’s a kiddie pool. It’s so I can shave my legs while I watch TV. It distracts me from the pain.”

I honestly might try this. Great idea, Gayle.

Season 6, Episode 4 “Gayle Makin’ Bob Sled” “I would Kiss Thanksgiving. Its kiss would be salty and delicious.”

Yes it would, Bob Belcher!

Season 13, Episode 8 “Putts-giving” Bob: “I don’t just stick the turkey in the oven, Lin.” Gene: “Yeah, first you kiss it all over.”

A theme is developing here. Does Bob love Thanksgiving?